painful observation.

I don't know if this is the world I want my children to grow up in. Of course, I don't really have much of a choice about that. Every time I scroll through my twitter feed or look at a newspaper or check the evening news on tv, I'm totally and completely floored by the headlines and happenings. From extreme, violent crimes taking place multiple times a day too close to home to a world that is slowly dissolving and losing any sense of whatever moral compass it once guided itself by, I feel complete anxiety wash over me as I think about my boys facing these issues head to head as they age.

Anxiety is something I have battled a lot in the past year (thanks, postpartum journey!) and I don't have much of a hold on it. I can't quite explain it and I don't at all know how to navigate it gracefully. It's funny, though, how - just like I do with everything in life - I try to fix the problem myself.

I don't think I need to tear into some long, drawn-out post to get to what I know to be true. Anxiety is not at all from God. He is the producer of peace - the calm in the storm, now and forever. That's the image we're all struck with - us dear ol' church-goers - when any of us begins talking about peace: Jesus calming the storm.

I don't believe I have an issue with Jesus bringing peace in my life. I think I have an issue living like I absolutely believe God's word is true. Because if Christ can calm a storm with a simple, spoken word, is He not able to do the same in my life? If I truly believed He is who He says He is, would I allow myself to fall into the same temptations and trials that anxiety brings me? (Or any other sin, for that matter...)

I cannot control the future. I cannot control the world. The things my children live through, whether I am by their side to guide them along or not, are outside of my dominion. Worrying over their safety and choices is about as useful as a wet match.

But..."The God who made the world and everything in it is Lord of heaven and earth...he himself gives to all mankind life and breath and everything" (Acts 17:24-25). This omnipotent ruler, this perfect peace-giver tells me to cast all my cares upon Him. He tells me that I cannot add a single hour to my life by worry.

Why do I live as if I don't believe these words?

...I don't have an answer to this post today. But as I reflect on it, I realize I do have a challenge.