I have a reason to sing. I have a reason to worship.
These are the song lyrics that plagued my head on March 22, as I sat in a hospital room with Brian on that cool spring evening and heard the doctor confirm that not only was I pregnant, but that it was NOT an ectopic pregnancy like we feared. All I could remember was beaming from ear to ear and silently singing these words. "God, you are faithful," was all I could think to utter.
These are the song lyrics that invaded my heart the night my mother came to take me back to my parents house to endure the miscarriage of the child I would never hold. It was a fairly silent ride, as I processed what was about to happened and already yearned for Brian to be able to come join me as we secretly got away from life as we knew it to endure our first loss together. Even still, all I knew to say was "God, you are faithful."
These are the song lyrics that comforted me in the times that I reflected on what never would be. The words that I meditated on when I felt like I was being swallowed by heavy darkness. I knew that God was still faithful.
These song lyrics that played in the foyer the first day back to work for the school year that reminded me of how faithful God was and how He had shown His providence day after day and brought me unspeakable joy that my flesh thought I'd surely never find again.
These are the same lyrics that overtook me as Brian and I smiled with uncertainty, but a bit of hope, at the two very strong pink lines on the bathroom counter on September 8. I meditated on the message of this song as we continued about the rest of the day as if nothing special had happened. Even in cautious fear and excitement, I was reminded that God is faithful.
And yes, these are the words that resonated within my soul on September 19 at 11:00 AM as Brian and I saw our baby's strong heartbeat on the ultrasound screen. God, you are faithful.
And I'm telling you now, that whether this sweet, precious gift makes it to our world on May 5 as we hope it does, or if it quickly whisked away to the arms of Christ before it is ever placed into mine, I will constantly, consistently, and confidently be singing this very song. Because God is faithful.
This is my prayer in the harvest,
when favor and providence flow.
I know I'm filled to be emptied again.
This seed I've received I will sow.
I will bring praise,
I will bring praise.
No weapon formed against me shall remain.
I will rejoice
I will declare
God is my victory, and He is here.
All of my life, in every season,
You are still God.
I have a reason to sing.
I have a reason to worship.
As always, your prayers are appreciated...more than you know!
