O rise, great God, at last
Ere reason's from us cast
And revolution's blast
Blacken our name.
- Oswald Chambers
I've come to a point in my life where I realize that I am absolutely nothing.
On my own, I can do no good thing. I can do nothing worth any praise. I am useless, pointless, vain, ugly, deceitful, and so much worse -- on my own.
The beautiful realization has suddenly come upon me over the past month or so, despite years of it being preached from pulpits in Sunday services I've attended, that Christ in me is powerful. Christ is worthy of every ounce of energy and every bit of praise from man I could ever obtain. I've truly understood that I am to live in total abandonment to Christ, to make His name great.
I once had a hard time understanding a woman I went to church with. She was, what I called at the time, a "holy roller". For everything, she had a "Jesus-y" response. Honestly, it drove me nuts. When I mentioned movies or books that were even just barely borderline "bad", she would point out that they were things that a Christian really should boast about reading/watching/seeing/etc. It drove me nuts. It made me mad. The way she raised her kids confused me. She wouldn't let them watch certain things or go to certain places. There were times that I thought she was a little too crazy for Jesus.
The Lord can be comical.
That woman began pouring into me. She loved on me. I knew if I needed prayer - she was going to approach the throne boldly on my behalf. My heart began softening to her. I looked forward to seeing her. She had such joy. Over time, I began to see that the reason her "holy roller" ways bothered me so much was because I was simply not living the life of holiness that a Christian is called to live - whether we can accept that or not. My fleshly desires contradicted the biblical morals and lessons she was teaching me. She eventually became the woman that I called and still call my spiritual mentor. Although she is now miles away from me, I know that when I need prayer I can call on her. When I need Godly wisdom, she delivers. I hope to be the kind of woman, wife, and mother she is someday.
You see, people who know her KNOW that she is a Christian. Even those who have only a vague idea of who Jesus is can associate her with Him. THAT'S what it means to make His name great -- to live in such a way, that when you encounter others, they automatically leave with a sense of knowing Him even just a little bit more. I WANT THAT.
I've been learning a lot about holiness the past few weeks. It's been a really difficult lesson, because there are things in my life that I know have fallen so short of the standard of holiness I'm called to have in my life. I told Brian a few weeks ago that I truly feel that the Lord wants to use me for something GREAT in my lifetime. Maybe not great according to the world's standards, but great according to His. Even typing that, I am absolutely assured that He does. I know it. I can feel it. But I've also come to realize that I will never be able to be used for greatness for God until I passionately pursue holy living. And I will forever be grateful to this woman for teaching me such a valuable lesson and for living in such a way that has pointed me towards and led me closer to Jesus.
I have got to rid myself of the things in my life that aren't complementary to His Word and His commands. The church today preaches that we are "free from the law." Essentially, we've used that as our excuse to dabble in things that we really have no place being around or tolerating. "Be IN the world, not of the world." -- Let us not forget, brothers and sisters, to not be OF the world. To live in that manner is going to get you a lot of dirty looks, a lot of rolled eyes, and - more than likely - a lot less friends than you came into that lifestyle with. People will say all sorts of things about you. You're going to be an outcast. But so be it. Remember:
If the world hates you, keep in mind that it hated me first. If you belonged to the world, it would love you as its own. As it is, you do not belong to the world, but I have chosen you out of the world. That is why the world hates you. - John 15:18-20
At the end of this lifetime, we will all stand before the throne of God and give an account for our lives. As a child of God, I don't want to say that I lived a mediocre, safe, cowardly life as a Sunday pew-sitting "Christian". I want to fall at His feet with no ounce of energy left and be able to say "I gave EVERYTHING I had for You, Lord."
I want to leave this earth knowing that I made His name great. - And that HE received all the glory.
