whine, whine, whine.

I need to do just that for a second.

I really am not handling my new schedule very well. I have never been the most organized person in the world. The past few weeks, my schedule has changed a good bit and now the organization is even worse and I feel like I'm steady tumbling down the hill of chaos.

I work full-time.
I go to school two nights a week, 4 1/2 hours each class.
I somehow ended up leading worship at church. Seriously. A paid position.
Then there's homework.
Oh yeah, I'm still married.
I have a load of laundry that is growing at a Mt. Everest rate.
I decided I could take on a role for a Christmas program while directing it as well.


You see, in the back of my mind, I know that EVERYONE is busy times infinity. That's just life for most of us these days. The problem is that I simply do not know how to mentally compartmentalize what is most important on my to-do list so other things suffer. Like most of my apartment right now.

I also cannot handle staying up past 10:30 (which is why I better wrap this up pretty quickly) because I have some sort of unusual and freakish mental quirks in which I will nearly have a breakdown if I don't get at least 7 hours of sleep. 7 hours of sleep allows me to solely function. That's it.

I have this irritating anxiety about being in class by myself. And by "by myself" I mean without any familiar faces. I had a friend in class with me, but she dropped it (smart gal).

I feel like I'm going to lose my 4.0 because of all of this STUFF that I just don't know how to mentally and physically organize. And honestly, that totally would not be the end of the world because all I should really care about is just FINISHING the dang program with my masters, right? But at this point, I am kind of ready to quit, even though I know that doing so would just mean I'd be working less-than-desirable (for me) jobs for the duration of my career, whatever that may be.

Do you see what I'm doing? Letting petty things stress me to the point of stupidity? I see it, too. The problem is, I just can't stop myself from doing it.

Sigh.

The good news is that Christmas break is steadily approaching. Even if I fail miserably, a break is indeed on the way.

Ah. Optimism?

I guess I just need to remember that we are ALL stressed to the max on most days. I just have to remember I am not alone in battling things of life. That's just the way it has to be sometimes.