I wondered why so many people were writing on her wall - some even addressing her as if she would be reading their words soon. It seemed ridiculous. I know that sounds harsh, but just follow me. All of a sudden, it hit me: "it's a coping mechanism."
No sooner did I process that thought than I found myself asking the following question:
Isn't that what Christianity is? A coping mechanism to attempt to wade through life?
I was utterly shocked. I didn't ever think something like that would come from me.
But doubt crept in regardless. I sat motionless for a moment. I was wondering what this thought would bring. Was there a revelation to come? Would I suddenly believe that everything I've ever thought to be living and true was simply a device I used to numb painful situations?
Then suddenly, a thought: People have given their lives for Christ. People have trusted him for thousands of years. That seems to be more than coping.
Then after that, momentary visions of moments in my life that have been the most trying. I saw hurt and pain and stress and despair -- followed by comfort and peace and provision and hope.
I may not be able to physically prove the existence of God. But I can look back on my life to this very day and see the intangible evidences of His presence. That's not a coping mechanism. That's a Savior who lives and loves me.
Doubts creep in. Christ reminds me of...well, Himself.
It's not a crutch. He's not a character.
He is alive. And He lives in me.
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