All of my life, in every season, You are still God. 

I have a reason to sing. I have a reason to worship.

Those words have resonated so clearly in my life the past few years. 

I remember when I found out I was pregnant with our first child. Brian and I were in the ER at Methodist Germantown Hospital in Germantown, TN. I went for some abdominal pain, fearing the worst since I had seen a positive pregnancy test earlier that day. We were thrilled when the doctor came in and told us that everything seemed okay and that I was "definitely pregnant". The song came to mind -- I will rejoice, I will declare - God is my victory and He is here. This song became my anthem of joy. It reminded me of that night, hearing the news that I had waited a very, very long time to hear.

If you know me or have followed this blog at all, then you know how that story ends. A few weeks later, this song became a song of comfort - a reminder that even in this heartache, He was worthy of every ounce of worship I could offer, even in my sorrowed state. 

And this is my prayer in the fire

In weakness or trial or pain

There is a faith proved

Of more worth than gold

So refine me, Lord, through the flame

I remember months later walking through the gigantic halls and foyer of Germantown Baptist Church. It had been quiet, with the exception of the little preschoolers I was leading, and suddenly music began to play over the speakers. There were those words again: All of my life, in every season, You are still God. I have a reason to sing. I have a reason to worship.

I can't tell you why this song made me connect the following dots, but I KNEW at that moment that the Lord was not only reminding me of His providence in my time of hurt but also telling me that He had redeemed our hurt and our mourning. Something in that moment, hearing that song, provided clarity. "You're pregnant." I didn't have to wait to see the "results". I knew it. I was 100% assured of it. Trivial as it may seem to you, it was like God and I had a personal meeting right there in the middle of that church where He told me that He had brought all those things I had prayed for to pass.

Some 40 odd weeks later, Jacob was born.

I tell you this story just to share my heart. For the believer, there are going to be moments of trial and pain. There will be moments of immense joy. In each of those moments, you will hear God whisper to your soul. I'm not trying to be poetic or flowery here. I say this because I know it to be true. No one can take away from me these moments I've written about. They've been reference points for some of the hardest times of my life I've endured since they occurred. They've served as a reminder of the great power and awe and majesty of the God I serve. They've solidified my assurance in His very existence. 

Just earlier, I had to run an errand. I turned on my spotify and just let it play. And this song came on. Now hold up, I'm not announcing I'm pregnant. Easy, easy. But the moment that song came on, I was overwhelmed by the reminders of how God has spoken to me and worked in my life and shown His incredible hand of redemption and power. He's so good that no blog post I write could ever properly display it. No song in existence can portray His power. Nothing can truly tell of the great love of God except for those moments that He speaks to you. That's why we harp on "relationship, not religion."

I am so overwhelmingly grateful for the reminders of how He's worked in my life - for me, for good. And I will choose to remember these moments, in every season.

This is my prayer in the harvest
When favor and providence flow
I know I'm filled to be emptied again

The seed I've received I will sow