Beauty.

(photo credit to my friend, Amanda Hill - www.amphotography.us)
This photograph made me realize something.  -- Some days - no, most days, I don't like myself.

Having a healthy self-image is something I've always struggled with. I went to school with beautiful girls who always caught the eyes of the beautiful boys. In college, my campus was flooded with gracious and outstandingly gorgeous girls. I never thought I was ugly. I just never thought I was special. And, sadly, I still carry that thought around with me on occasion in the present.

Like seemingly every other woman in the world, when I look in the mirror, I don't like what I see. I'm either too pale or my hair is too flat, blah blah blah. When I am shown a photograph of myself much like that one above, I'm  not comfortable with what I see. My smile is crooked and my jaw is very strong, and I am fully aware of these features when taking pictures, so the awkwardness just BEAMS through as I try to figure out how to hide all this. When I'm in a crowd, I'm incredibly conscious of the other women around me and how beautiful they are in comparison.

Being married to a youth minister, I am constantly surrounded by or among stunning, beautiful young girls who don't have stretch marks or flabby stomachs left behind from pregnancy. They live up to the name by which we categorize them: youth. They have it. And with each passing day, I can see where I am not quite as youthful or pretty or skinny as I once was.

Things like this cause me to cower down and become a shell of who I feel I really am. And you know what? That is wrong.

The truth is, my husband thinks I'm beautiful. My baby boy thinks I'm the greatest thing on this earth - just watch him smile at me, you'll see it too. I can tell by my parents smiles when I first see them on our visits that they are proud of me. I'm blessed with in-laws who graciously love me as their own. I am not the lowly person I perceive myself to be.

Most importantly, and the truth that hit me slap in the face this morning is: I am perfect in the eyes of my Creator.

Psalm 139 reminds me that I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Ephesians 1 tells me that The Lord finds pleasure in calling me His child. I am part of a chosen generation, a royal priesthood, seated with Him in the heavenlies.

I have worth because a worthy God instilled it in me as a child in His kingdom.

If I could tell any young girl just one thing, it would be to never, ever, ever allow yourself to give in to the game of comparisons. The enemy will use that against you and shatter your self-worth which can lead down destructive roads. Know that there is always going to be someone who is better than you in some way. That doesn't diminish who you are. That just makes us different. As a daughter of Christ, we should meditate on the fact that we have worth in Him. Ephesians 1 tells us we have been given every spiritual blessing by the Father. He has blessed you, He has chosen you. That makes you more valuable than you could ever fathom! And that value is weighted by the Creator of the universe.

I'm telling this to myself today. I am beautiful and valuable and worthy because He made me that way. I may never grace the cover of a magazine or fit back into those jeans from junior year in college. My smile will never be perfect and I'll always be clumsy. But I am loved by some pretty incredible people just as I am. And I am the product of an amazing, gracious God. There is beauty in that!